There are certain things that you should never do to your own beard. You are a man. You did a manly thing. You grew a beautiful piece of chin cover. Now don’t fuck it up.
1.) Do not cut it – no matter what your wife says (you can find another)
2.) Do not dread your beard with beads – just don’t
3.) Never dye your beard to look younger – you aren’t a man at that point you are a suburban mom
4.) Only color your beard (temporarily) if it will get you laid
5.) Don’t put olive oil in your beard, use beard specific oil
6.) Never compare your beard to beards that you can never reach the potential of, OWN YOUR BEARD.
7.) Never miss a beard meet up. Beards are your friends, people with beards are your friends.
8.) If the kid isn’t yours, don’t let them touch it.