“With a great mustache comes great responsibility”, that is what Teddy Roosevelt told me after we
watched Spiderman. I took heed to those words and that day promised myself I would not be fickle with
my facial prowess. We live in a day and age where the word ‘hipster’ is used to label us gents who
appreciate a good stache, and make sure that it is kept and badass. Nay I say! A hipster in my eyes is a
lad who goes to thrift stores to pick out the latest Duck Head fashions from the early 90s. We, my fine
fellows are Rock N’ Rollah’s!! We take pride in a solid, well-made pair of boots, drape ourselves in the
finest denims, we are fucking warriors and we make god damn sure our facial hair is intact for all
creatures of this planet to bow down to!!
But many of you ask, how? How do I keep my mustache in the pristine condition that it is when I leave
the house? What if I get into a rummy scuffle while saving a fair maiden from the douche that surrounds
her? WHAT IF EZZ DAMNIT WHAT IF?!?! Well let me creep in my little ol fifth jean pocket and tell
you..The Kent mustache comb is the answer!! This hand cut little baddie from England is the cure of
cures for your mangled face coif, works for both staches and beards alike, it’s about the size of your car
keys so you’re not carrying a bulky comb and your pockets are free to transport other more important
things like animal pelts and switch blades.
The problem with most combs is they tend to catch on your facial hair if tangled, due to the hairs being
coarser, but the Kent is smooth, the saw-cut teeth rake the tangles before the catch for a smooth, more
fluid motion, especially when paired with the Beard Friendly Paul Bunyan Beard Oil. Not a single strand
will be out of place with a few strokes, but beards may need a stroke or two more. I don’t have any
complaints here, some people may wince at the small stature of this guy, but in this case, size does in
fact, not matter, and at the $5.50 price you can afford to lose one in a fracas or two.
Something else about these combs is the fact that they are made with a non-petroleum based plastic
derived from plants, so this sustainable product can continue to groom future radass generations! I feel
incomplete now when I leave the house without my mustache comb, it has now become a part of me, I
leave the house and make sure I have 4 things on my person: phone, wallet, keys, and of course my
Kent!
Written by Dino Hassan
Handle: @thespindleatl
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